The Ultimate Price of Self-Sabotage

With the recent death of actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman and the 2nd anniversary of Whitney Houston’s death coming up, I feel compelled to talk about the ultimate price of self-sabotage…death!

Self-sabotage is rampant everywhere. We all do it to some degree or another and it can keep you stuck, cause you to disrupt relationships, sabotage job promotions, prevent yourself from getting into college or graduating, get yourself fired, or self-destruct with alcohol or drugs. And it is primarily based on some warped belief systems we either inherit from being around our family members or from exposure to toxic environments. You learn to fear rejection and humiliation, your self-esteem drops, you are terrified of failing, you fear success.

But most of all you just don’t feel good enough. And if you believe you are not good enough, you WILL do EVERYTHING you possibly can to PROVE that you are not worthy of success. If you had a relative or peers who said (even once) that you were no good, or bad, or will never amount to much…you will set about proving them right, without ever meaning to! If you believe that people who are successful in their jobs are obnoxious or that “money is the root of all evil”, how likely are you to ALLOW yourself to be successful or have lots of money?? And what if being successful would mean being more successful than an older sibling or your parents, and they don’t want that. What might you do?? You sabotage yourself.

Can you see the conflicts?

And then lets add exposure to trauma, violence, or bullying. What beliefs might you create as a result?

A lot of people talk about “limiting beliefs”. But honestly, I don’t think the word “limiting” is quite strong enough for the insanity that is our belief systems. For many, it becomes very toxic and hugely self-destructive and oftentimes, you might realize that you are doing it…and if you do, you might not know how to stop yourself.

When I look at celebrities whose lives are sliding into a hole, you can almost see it coming. They are very talented at their craft and yet they are miserable. The celebrity lifestyle brings with it a life of living in a fishbowl with people constantly criticizing you. They’re seen as too thin, too fat, too old, too…something. And they are only as popular as their last good song, movie, tv show etc. And yet, because they earn so much money, it is assumed that they MUST be happy! Many aren’t.

Their self-confidence and self-esteem is completely wrapped up in what the media and the public think of them. Many celebs don’t have a clear sense of their own value outside the spotlight. And without a clear sense of who they are, they are often in a lot of pain. For many, drugs and alcohol are used to self-medicate the numbness and pain they may experience. For others, they are simply hell-bent on self-destruction because of their toxic belief system. What makes it more difficult for celebrities is few have people around them who are willing to tell them that their behavior will destroy them and push them to get help. And for people like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Whitney Houston, Heath Ledger, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, Cory Monteith, and so many others, they pay the ultimate price for their self-sabotage, death.

Why should you care about these celebs self-destructing?? Because your story is all too similar to theirs in that you have some wild belief system that has you sabotaging yourself. And while you may not be sabotaging yourself with drugs and alcohol, there are other ways you are slowly killing your spirit, your mind, and your body.

It’s time to wake up! How are YOU sabotaging yourself? What are you doing that keeps you stuck, has you hiding, or worse, self-destructing?

These toxic beliefs live in your head. Your brain has created neuropathways that keep them alive and circulating over and over again. The only way to stop is to create NEW pathways in your brain and you do that by TRANSFORMING the way you think. And you can’t just Hope it changes or Wish it to change…it only changes when you PRACTICE changing it…one thought, one belief at a time.

That means you have to take ACTION. But guess what?

You CAN do it! I know you can! You are worthy! You are amazing! And you most certainly DESERVE it!

Have faith and believe in yourself. You can do it!

Don’t stop till you get there. There is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel!

Peace and Blessings,