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Tag Archive for: teen

Blog

The Top 7 Life Skills to Help Your Kids Grow Into Happy, Healthy Adults

30345836_sThis time of year always feels like hitting a reset button in my house. My daughter is back in school learning new things and I’m able to refocus on work and ending the year strong.

It’s a great time to think about the larger goals of raising our children. Are we helping them gain the important skills young people need to be independent and resilient? Are we fostering in them a sense of confidence about making decisions on their own? Are we raising them to be happy and healthy throughout their lives?

As parents, it’s easy to focus on right now instead of the bigger picture. It’s faster to help the little ones tie their shoes rather than teaching them how to do it themselves, just as it’s simpler to help the older ones with their homework rather than giving them the tools and skill to figure it out on their own.

However, taking the long view, when are they ever going to figure out how to tie their shoes or do pre-algebra homework if you’re there to do it for them? More importantly, how are they going to gain confidence that they can learn new skills, even when they seem hard?

That’s why for the next few blog posts, I’m going to focus on the top 7 life skills kids need in order to grow into happy, resilient adults. Let’s jump in with the first skill.

Safety

Teaching young people safety skills is an area with many misconceptions. Remember “stranger danger” from a few decades ago? The scenario with the unmarked van and a stranger offering kids candy is not the only unsafe situation for children or teens these days, but I know I still struggle with how much independence I give my daughter and talk to her about a variety of scenarios. I find it’s a delicate balance between teaching a child to be cautious and discerning or raising an anxious and fearful child.

Depending on the age of your children, teaching safety skills can vary widely of course. No child is too young to set them up with a foundation for confidence about themselves and their right to safety. As they mature, you can add more information, as you deem appropriate.

Personal Safety

Share with your kids that they are in charge of their own body and feelings, and it is not okay if they feel uncomfortable with the way another person is acting toward them, even if it’s a person they know or trust. Teach them correct terminology for their body parts, which areas are private, and that no one has the right to touch them in a way they don’t like or force them to touch the other person’s private body parts.

Let them know that you are always a safe ally for them to talk to, and that includes if they feel as though they’ve done something wrong. Ensure that they know they must not keep secrets from you even if they think it might hurt your feelings or someone else’s feelings. Let them know that you will love and accept them no matter what. These discussions may feel uncomfortable but it is critical to have them.

Cyber Safety

This is an area where many adults freeze up and feel insecure because it’s just so different than when we were young. My own 8 year-old daughter has been asking me if she can have an Instagram or Facebook account (of course I said “Absolutely not!!) and she often figures things out on my iPad or iPhone much faster than I can! As a parent, there are concrete things you must talk about to keep your kids and teens safe. Sit down together and establish these ground rules for online safety because kids don’t often consider the long term consequences of their actions.

  1. Don’t share personal information online. This includes your home address, phone number, passwords, birthdays, and where you are cyber safetylocated or if you are home.
  2. Set passwords together. Talk about what makes a good password and practice setting them up.
  3. Discuss posting photos online, what’s acceptable, what’s not, and why.
  4. Teach online respect too. Talk about cyber bullying behaviors and open a dialogue about what your kids have read or heard that is disrespectful and how that affects the people on the receiving end of hurtful statements.

Next time, we’ll talk about the skills your child needs for emotional and physical health, so stay tuned. In the meantime, I would love your comments about the skills you think children need to be happy throughout their lives.

 

by Dr. Samantha
https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/The-Top-7-Life-Skills-to-Help-Your-Kids-Grow-Into-Happy-Healthy-Adults.jpg 200 300 Dr. Samantha https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/askdrsamantha-logo-gold-300x103.png Dr. Samantha2013-12-05 13:20:052022-07-06 19:55:36The Top 7 Life Skills to Help Your Kids Grow Into Happy, Healthy Adults
Blog

How to Enable Your Kid’s Emotional and Physical Health and Well-Being

How-to-Enable-Your-Kid’s-Emotional-and-Physical-Health-and-Well-Being

If you are a parent, one of the key thoughts that is never too far from your mind is ensuring that your kids grow up to be happy, healthy, well adjusted, and successful adults. I know for me, just about everything I say or do, as well as the experiences I see my daughter having in the world of school, peers, and teachers leaves me wondering about the potential impact these things will have on her later.

So, here is the second post in a 3-part series about the top seven life skills your children need to be happy and healthy throughout their lives. Last time, we talked about personal and online safety, which is a foundation for mental and physical health.

Today, we’re going to build on that with three more skills to work with your children on developing…so let’s get started.

Emotional Health And Self-Regulation

Emotional health and self-regulation are perhaps the most important and yet the most difficult skills to master. In part, this is difficult because it has so many layers and also because it has much more to do with what you DO rather than what you SAY as a parent. Let me explain.

Several years ago, I had a mom and dad come to see me with concerns about the emotional functioning of their 6-year-old daughter. She had a difficult time managing her anger and would have big angry outbursts when things didn’t go her way. She would just explode and they had a difficult time getting her to calm down. After reviewing the intake forms the parents had completed, I quickly realized why. When asked, “How does the mother handle anger?” the answer was “simmers then explodes”…when asked, “How does the father handle anger?” the answer was “simmers then explodes”. I asked the parents if they thought it was a coincidence that their daughter handled her anger in exactly the same way they did. They were stunned.

Kids generally don’t have built in “instruction manuals” to go on so they need guidance from parents to teach them how to manage their emotions. But, what many parents fail to consider is that their own behavior far outweighs any teaching they’re doing through words IF the words do not align with the actions. You see…kids are paying attention. Whether you like it or not, your kids are looking to you to SHOW them how to behave. So, don’t yell at them to calm down, TEACH them HOW. How do YOU calm down? What is the most appropriate way to calm down? When my daughter was 3, I realized that by getting angry when she was having a tantrum, I was only making the situation worse and escalating the “hotness” of the situation. I realized that as long as I stayed calm, I could help bring her down to match my response (instead of me matching hers). I then started teaching her how to calm herself by taking deep breaths…and helped her create a safe quiet space to be able to regroup and regain control. I know that when I am angry or upset, some time to myself to regroup usually works wonders, so why would I not give her the same opportunity?

Remind your kids that no one is perfect. Open up and share some of your own struggles. Apologize when you are wrong and don’t expect them to be experts at things YOU are still learning how to master yourself! Tell them mistakes are inevitable but that you can always figure things out together. This will help you form a deeper connection so they feel comfortable talking to you about their struggles.

Show them how to handle the daily stress and anxiety that comes with daily life. In general, you do that by modeling your own emotional well-being. Make sure they aren’t placing extremely critical and unrealistic expectations on themselves.

Help them recognize the symptoms of too much stress and ensure they have the tools and skills needed to cope. Deep breathing, meditation, physical exercise, talking things through instead of bottling them up, journaling, and using creative outlets like music or art will all help them maintain a more positive emotional and physical response to stress.

Most of all, reassure them it’s not a sign of weakness or failure if they have to reach out for help.

Importance Of Having Fun

Yes, I know what you’re thinking… “All my kids do is have fun! That’s the last thing they need help with!” But the reality is that teaching kids how to enjoy and take care of themselves is a skill like any other, and one that gets harder and harder as we grow into adulthood. One thing many kids expect is for their parents to entertain them. Having them learn how to play by themselves and how to initiate play with peers is vital life skills. Talk to them about how to start conversations with new peers. In this age of technology, scheduled play dates, and structured games and play, kids may fail to learn how to be creative and imaginative in their use of time and space.

Have you ever seen an adult who creates marvelous doodles while waiting for a meeting to begin? Or one who makes people laugh while waiting in a long line? Or one who can find the good in even the most difficult situation? Those are skills that they learned at some point during their lives and you can help your child learn to enjoy life in the moment as well. What fun creative skills do you have that you can share with your kids in an enjoyable way?  

Physical Health and Self-Care

Self-care through personal hygiene, nutrition, exercise, and physical well-being starts in childhood, but not necessarily in the way you might think. Getting kids to eat all their veggies or teens to participate in an after-school sport is not the name of the game here.

Sure, eating right and exercising are important, but your ultimate goal is to set your kids up with positive feelings and associations about staying fit and eating well. That’s what will make them veggie lovers for life and keep them lacing up those gym shoes long after they move out of your house.

To develop their love of health and fitness, try the following:

  1. Make moving fun. Create games or challenges to get everyone moving. Have a dance party, run a relay race, or go on a family hike.8108634_s
  2. Model the behaviors you want to see in your kids. Remember that if you say “broccoli is gross,” there’s no way they will want to eat it either! On the other hand, if they see you running a 5K, they will know they can do it too.
  3. Embrace their activity style. Not every kid is a natural born athlete, and that’s okay. Find what works for them, and gently encourage making it a habit.
  4. Get them cooking. Involving your kids in cooking and food preparation is one of the best ways to get them excited about nutritious food and keep the lines of communication open as they grow.

Teaching kids age-appropriate personal hygiene is also critical. Work with them on one skill to take care of themselves at a time – from getting dressed themselves right on through to doing their laundry themselves.

Next time, we’ll talk about the skills your child needs for a productive and stable life, so stay tuned. In the meantime, I would love your comments about the struggles you face when it comes to your kids’ emotional and physical well being.

 

by Dr. Samantha
https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/How-to-Enable-Your-Kids-Emotional-and-Physical-Health-and-Well-Being.jpg 300 300 Dr. Samantha https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/askdrsamantha-logo-gold-300x103.png Dr. Samantha2013-09-20 10:21:312022-07-06 19:55:36How to Enable Your Kid’s Emotional and Physical Health and Well-Being
Blog

How to Encourage Your Kid’s Communication And Productivity Skills

[fusion_text]girls-74142_1920For the last two blog posts, I’ve been sharing how you can develop the seven most important life skills to set your children up for happy, healthy adulthoods. So far, we’ve covered:

  • Personal and Cyber Safety
  • Emotional Health And Self-Regulation
  • The Importance Of Self-Care and Fun
  • Physical Health And Well Being

Today, we’ll talk about the last three skills, all related to their ability to grow into productive, confident adults, so let’s dive in.

Communication Confidence

Enabling children with the ability to self-advocate, or stand up for themselves and communicate their needs, is a skill they will use from the preschool classroom to the boardroom. It’s a foundation of leadership and it can even prevent your child from being an anonymous victim of abuse if they know that being a people pleaser is not worth tolerating injustice.

Keep in mind that there are multiple leadership styles, and you can give kids skills to “lead up” as well. Younger siblings can show off new skills to the family, and sometimes children can even teach their parents a thing or two.

Productivity Skills and Self-Motivation

This is an area where today’s “helicopter parents” often struggle to adequately prepare their children for the future. Raising self-starters is hard if you’re in constant praise, motivate, and reward mode. Let accomplishment be its own motivation and reward and notice how your kids respond. As much as kids seem to like praise, they like accomplishing new things even more.

Also talk about the “why” behind the things you do, whether it’s why you work so hard at your job, why you expect them to get good grades, or why they need to help with dishes after dinner.

We couldn’t cover productivity without discussing the need for basic organizational skills. From letting your little ones clean up their messes and their rooms themselves (even if you have to clean after them), to allowing your teens organize their schedules and their closets (even if you have to save the day from time to time), you’re enabling them to develop skills they will use throughout their lives.

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Financial Literacy

This final skill is so key for mental health and well being. Just look at the stress that money causes most adults. Here are a few ways to encourage healthy financial perspective.

  1. Talk about earning, saving and spending. Share age-appropriate information about your family’s expenses and income, giving them a sense of how much time it takes you to earn the money used for various expenses. Give them examples from their own piggy bank or allowance too.
  2. Give them a chance to learn for themselves. Start them early with a piggy bank and ways to earn a small allowance by helping La génération Sickkunt Ft. Zyzz, Greg Plitt, Chestbrah, Jeff Seid et plus (MOTIVATION DE BODYBUILDING) qualite prohormone avec expedition aliments de musculation bon marché (musculation sur un budget) out around the house. Talk with them about how they are going to spend their money, how much they would like to save, and whether they would like to donate any money to charity. With older kids, set up a checking account and basic budget so they have financial experience long before the fly the nest.
  3. Model healthy financial choices. If you are stressed and fighting over money, you’re setting your children up to do the same someday. Don’t fall into the “do as I say, not as I do” trap. A positive and realistic money mindset will rub off on them over the long term.

 Do you struggle in any of these areas yourself? Are you afraid your kids will follow in your footsteps? Let me know in the comments.[/fusion_text]

by Dr. Samantha
https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/girls-74142_1920-300x168-1.jpg 168 300 Dr. Samantha https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/askdrsamantha-logo-gold-300x103.png Dr. Samantha2013-04-15 10:00:222022-07-06 19:55:36How to Encourage Your Kid’s Communication And Productivity Skills

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