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Tag Archive for: depression

Blog

Finding Your Way Out of the Darkness of Depression

36497429_sI know I’ve shared with you before about my battle with depression while in graduate school studying for my doctorate in psychology. It was by far one of the most difficult and dark emotional times of my life. The symptoms of depression can destroy your will, your energy, your emotional and physical well-being, your relationships with those you love, and your life IF you let it.

If you’re struggling with depression right now, I want you to know that you are not alone. According to the WHO (World Health Organization) as many as 350,000,000 people battle some form of depression globally! That’s pretty staggering. And, many people won’t get any help for themselves because of the perceived stigma associated with depression. And I think that’s what saddens me the most. There are people suffering in darkness and silence because they are afraid of what other people might think. But this is YOUR life we’re talking about! And, the truth is there is absolutely no shame in admitting you are struggling to overcome the dark pull depression has on your life right now. None whatsoever. As a matter of fact, it takes incredible strength and courage to say, “I need help.”

Your negative inner dialogue can be even louder during tough emotional times. Do not isolate yourself. It’s one of the worst things you can do. Reach out to your loved ones. It’s not a sign of weakness to lean on those who love you when you need them. And, if they don’t understand or say unhelpful things, forgive them. Oftentimes people who have never experienced depression have no true understanding of what it is like to be depressed. But whether they get it or not, YOU must get help and support for yourself…and you have to take care of yourself.

So, here are ten things you can do right now to help yourself win this battle:

  1. Start a routine. You may feel like staying in bed and doing very little, but creating structure around your day and making sure that you not only get out of bed, but also get out of the house is crucial. Set the alarm and make yourself get up and eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time. Schedule activities for your day (and do them) and have a specific bedtime.
  2. Postpone major decisions. Do not decide to get married, get divorced, quit your job or make any other major life decision during this difficult time. Depression messes with your brain and you will not be thinking clearly (even when you think you are). You also are not really yourself. So, any big decision you make now you’ll be re-thinking later. Save yourself the second-guessing and leave the decision making for when you truly are feeling better.
  3. Exercise. I know some days you may not even feel like getting out of bed. I get it. But you can’t allow yourself to stay there. Get out of bed. Get out of the house. Go for a vigorous walk. Do some jumping jacks, crunches, or run. Anything that gets your heart rate pumping (even though you don’t feel like it). This activity will help boost your hormones (serotonin) and that will help you start feeling better naturally.
  4. Eat healthy & drink lots of water. This is not the time to skip meals, overeat, eat junk food, or forget to take your prescription medications. Our body and mind are connected. So how you take care of your body matters. Make eating healthy meals, and taking your medications and supplements part of your every day schedule. And drink plenty of water too as dehydration can affect your mood and functioning.
  5. Get restful sleep. I know you probably think you have been sleeping enough. But depressive sleep is often not a restful sleep. When it’s time for your scheduled bedtime turn off the TV, the phones, the lights, and anything that distracts you or keeps your mind engaged on any level. You want your mind to fully disengage and have proper cycles of REM sleep.       Feeling rested is imperative to getting better and having the emotional stamina to overcome. If insomnia is the problem, try deep breathing and meditation before bed (see below).
  6. Challenge negative thoughts.       Now is the perfect time to start mastering the art of managing your negative inner dialogue. When your negative thoughts start if you don’t shut them down quickly they will turn into a cyclone and spin out of control really fast. Get a notebook or journal and write down a reframe for the typical negative thoughts you have. Then, each time one of those thoughts pops up, look at your notebook and use one of the positive reframes to challenge the thought until you have control of your thoughts again.
  7. Deep breathing & meditation. For 15 minutes twice a day, develop a practice of deep mindful breathing. Most people don’t breathe very deeply and this affects how our mind and body function. Keep it simple. Inhale for a 5 count, hold for a 3 count, and exhale for 5. If inhaling first is difficult for you, exhale first and then start the inhale process. You might also want to do the second set of 15 minutes at night as it helps with restful sleep. Your mind does NOT need to be blank. When thoughts come. Acknowledge them and return to the counting.
  8. Stay connected. Don’t isolate yourself (even though you may want to). In your schedule, make time to be around people you care about and who care about you. And, do enjoyable things with them.
  9. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs may have you think you are feeling better initially, but they will not help the situation. Eventually, they can make things worse. Self-medicating is not addressing the problem…and alcohol is actually a depressant itself. So while it may “take the edge off” it will bring you down even further…hence the need for more and more. If you think you need alcohol or drugs to get through the day, please see a doctor.
  10. Get help. You don’t have to do this alone. Please contact a therapist, doctor, pastor, community center counselor, or if necessary go to the emergency room at the local hospital if you are feeling suicidal. Reach out and get the help you need. Suffering in the shadows isn’t necessary and it doesn’t help you.

Every moment that you say “No!” to the dark thoughts depression weaves in your mind, you are winning the battle. Depression can take a lot from you. But you have what it takes to fight back and breakthrough. Take action and take care of your emotional health and well-being. You got this.

 

by Dr. Samantha
https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Finding-Your-Way-Out-of-the-Darkness-of-Depression.jpg 200 300 Dr. Samantha https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/askdrsamantha-logo-gold-300x103.png Dr. Samantha2015-06-09 09:00:462022-07-06 19:55:20Finding Your Way Out of the Darkness of Depression
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5 Steps to Magnificence

Emotional FreedomFear, anxiety, stress, depression… all of these are very difficult emotional blocks to overcome. I know. I have battled them myself. And, although I am not perfect (and don’t expect to be) I have become the more positive, focused person I am today through very deliberate action. I have made choices to create the life I want to have emotionally.

We are all works-in-progress. We never fully stop growing and developing when we take action to not be overcome by negative emotions.

You can overcome the persistent shadow of fear that’s always been hanging around in the back of your mind. Don’t let the fear of what you THINK your colleagues think about you, or your in-laws, or the other ‘perfect’ parents at the PTA meetings keep you stuck. Often times what we imagine people think or do is so much worse than actual reality. And our anxiety over the situation makes our own fear even greater.

There was a time in my life when my instructors were attempting to remove me from my psychology doctoral program because the depression I was struggling with was affecting my work output – I had fallen behind. For years after, I lived in the shadow of what I imagined my instructors must have thought of me as they attempted to dismiss me. I worried if perhaps they were right about me. I wondered how I could possibly be qualified to help anybody. With every new goal I set, a little demon would raise its ugly head and remind me of my shortcomings, causing me to be terrified that I would be “found out.”

This fear interfered with my willingness to take risks and step outside the box in my career for a long time. But I chose to keep growing and moving forward at whatever pace I could and push through those negative thoughts when they showed up. And, the truth is, they still show up occasionally. Every time I am about to take a new leap in my career or try something new, that creepy little fear shows up. But, I now know how to deal with it. And, I know why it’s there and why I am here…I have a purpose and passion to fulfill. The choice I make every day is not to let the fears that do show up stop me in my tracks anymore.

Here are some things you can do to help you overcome these issues yourself.

1. Let go of your emotional blockages. There is not a single thing you can do to change the world around you. The only thing you CAN control is yourself. You can control your own thoughts and actions to all the chaos around you. Your worry, fear, and anxiety are not helping to fix a single problem. They are making it worse. And making you more of a mess in the process. Let it go. Forgive, forget, and move on.

2. Discover your purpose and passion. Find something you love to focus on. Maybe it’s volunteering at the animal shelter. Maybe your hobby of cooking freezer meals can help you give to shut in neighbors and new mothers that need a little extra help. Maybe it’s as simple as finding one good habit to start putting yourself first, like an evening meditative walk that helps you focus on nature and all of the positive around you. Put on your headset, play the positive tunes, or an uplifting podcast to escape your own negative thoughts while you walk it out.

3. Live fearlessly. Don’t procrastinate moving forward in your life. Make it a mission to confront the issues causing your emotional and physical paralysis so you can get ‘unstuck’. The only person you have to prove something to is yourself. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you. Get a vision of what you want, set a course, and go after it.

4. Create an unshakable confidence. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome and achieve. The only limits on life you have are the ones you give yourself. Take a risk and trust yourself. YOU are the cause of great things happening in your life, not the effect or reaction to what’s around you.

5. Own your magnificence. You have a beautiful light inside of you. Stand on the stage of your life and own it. Don’t be afraid to let others see the greatness inside of you. Step into your own and let your light shine.

These are the keys that have led me toward emotional freedom. I k now they can bring the same to you.

by Dr. Samantha
https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/5-Steps-to-Magnificence.jpg 209 300 Dr. Samantha https://askdrsamantha.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/askdrsamantha-logo-gold-300x103.png Dr. Samantha2015-05-05 09:00:082022-07-06 19:55:205 Steps to Magnificence

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